Hard To Say Goodbye
by Fiona Bel
Summary: He always thought they'd have a happy ending. But science wasn't on his side.
1. Goodbye, My Love

**A/N: First thing I want to say is, this will not be B/B. Not eventually, not ever. Because, as much as I love them, there can't always be a happy ending. Hopefully, this won't stop you from reading, because I still like their dynamic, and I think what happens in the next chapter is quite interesting (don't want to give anything away!).**

**Booth and Bones have been together for a little over a year when the story starts. I originally wrote it with them calling each other by their first names, because it seemed that if they had been together for that long then they would, but it just didn't feel right. I can't imagine her constantly referring to him as 'Seeley.' Too weird.**

**The lyrics are from the song _Hard to Say Goodbye_ from the movie _Dreamgirls. _If you have never seen the movie(which I haven't) or heard the song, I wouldn't advise you to listen to it, lol. It's a bit too upbeat for this story, but the lyrics are perfect.**

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone or anything related to Bones, and, as I explained above, I down own the song, either.

* * *

_We didn't make forever.  
We each got to go our seperate way,  
And now we're standing here, helpless,  
Looking for something to say.  
We've been together a long time.  
We never thought it would end.  
We were always so close to each other;  
You were always my friend._

When he entered their apartment, she was sitting on the couch waiting for him.

"Hey." He walked over to her and kissed her. "Sweets was right, Caleb Martins confessed to both murders. Honestly, I thought it was the florist guy. Seemed kinda jumpy. You want to order some Tai food?"

"Booth, we need to talk."

"Oh. Yeah. Ange mentioned you wanted to talk to me. She seemed kind of upset. What's going on?"

_I didn't want this to happen,  
But we shouldn't feel sad.  
We had a good life together.  
Just remember, remember, all the times we had.  
It's not that I don't love you deeply  
You were my family  
It's just that I'm feeling there's so much more  
Waiting out there for you and me._

"I'm ending our relationship."

Booth laughed. "What?"

"I'm serious, Booth."

"Where the hell did this come from?"

"From a talk I had with Parker."

"Okay, now I know you're lying, because Parker loves you. He would never tell you to break up with me." He got up, feeling at ease now that he realized this was a joke.

She got up as well and followed him. "No, he didn't say anything like that."

Booth poured himself a glass of orange juice. "Well, what did he say?"

"He asked me when we were going to get married."

"Okay, Bones, look, I know you don't really believe in having a ceremony and a piece of paper to show your commitment to someone, but I kind of assumed we'd get married someday, too."

"And he asked when we were going to give him a little brother or sister."

Booth sat down his glass. "What'd you tell him?"

"I said I didn't know."

"Did you mean that?"

"What was I supposed to say?"

"It's okay, that's a good answer. I wouldn't worry about it. He doesn't really mind being an only child. Besides, I'm sure Rebecca will pop another one out eventually."

"Yes, he does mind. And so do you."

"I'm not an only child."

"I mean, you mind only having one child."

"Bones, it's fine, okay?"

"No, it isn't, Booth. It's not fair to you, or to Parker. "

"So, you're breaking up with me because of that?"

"That, among other reasons. Like science."

"Think with your heart, Bones, not with your head."

"The brain is the only organ that can be used to think. The heart pumps oxygenated blood throughout your body; it cannot form thoughts."

"It's not meant literally. I'm just saying, consider your feelings. Me, out of your life, is that what you really want?"

"It's what has to happen, Booth."

"No, you're wrong. You may be a genius, but you're wrong."

"We're not right for each other. At least, not currently. One of us needs to be rational in this relationship. Logically, we shouldn't be together. I've tried to ignore the facts, but it's obvious."

"Bones, science doesn't tell you who you're supposed to love."

"Us as a couple just isn't plausible."

"Temperance, do you love me?"

"Not when you call me Temperance."

"Bones."

She sighed. "Yes, Booth. Of course I love you."

"So isn't that enough?"

"No. It isn't."

"Bones, please."

"I'm sorry, Booth. I've been offered a position in Los Angeles, and I'm going to accept it."

"Why? Why does our being together defy logic?"

"We're two different people who want very different things."

"Like?"

"For example, you want more children while I don't want any."

"We just went over this, Bones. Besides, you like Parker."

"Yes, I love Parker, but that doesn't mean I want any children of my own."

"Okay, that's one reason. What else?"

"I'd say that's a pretty big reason, Booth."

"What else, Bones?"

"You're all about catching the bad guys, while I just want to study ancient remains. The job in Los Angeles will allow me to travel around the world to examine them."

"I've told you a thousand times, I wouldn't hold it against you if you stopped working with the FBI. I just want you to be happy, and if really old bones and no murderers makes you happy, then that's fine with me."

"You've also told me a thousand times that you don't know what you would do if I wasn't your partner. Even if you aren't aware of it, you would subconsciously resent me for it."

"None of the things you're telling me make me not want to be with you."

"One day, you'll understand. You'll thank me for being so rational while you were so irrational."

"Bones, I am not being irrational. I love you. No matter what your science tells you, love is enough."

"No, it isn't."

"Yes, it is."

"Goodbye, Booth." She kissed him softly, and they both shed a tear.

"You really don't have to do this. I love you more than anything."

"I love you, too." And she walked towards the door.

"I'll be here waiting for you when you get back."

She turned and looked into his eyes. "I don't know if I'm ever coming back."

"You'll be back," he said, as tears rolled down his cheeks.

She faced the door again, knowing that if she walked out, she couldn't go back in.

_And it's hard to say good-bye, my love.  
Hard to see you cry, my love.  
Hard to open up that door.  
You're not sure what you're going for._

She exited, and shut the door behind her.

"She has to come back," he whispered to the empty apartment. "She has to."

_You'll know I'll always love you.  
You'll know I'll always care.  
And no matter how far I may go,  
In my thoughts,  
You'll always be there._

_We've got to work it,  
We've got to try,  
Though it's hard, so hard  
We have to say good-bye  
Though it's hard, so hard  
We have to say  
We didn't make forever.  
How could we loose tomorrow?  
We didn't make forever.  
How could we loose tomorrow?_

_Goodbye, my love._

* * *


	2. Love Is Confusing

**A/N:** Not much to say except I will forgive anyone who chooses to hate me.

The lyrics are from **Love You Forever** by the Monkees.

* * *

_I love you this year  
I'll love you next year  
And then forever  
I'll always need you  
I'll never leave you  
I'll love you forever_

_-----------------------_

"Angela!"

"Brennan!"

"Oh, I knew you and Hodgins would get back together," Brennan remarked, noticing the large baby bump Angela was sporting.

"What? Oh, no, this isn't Hodgins' baby."

"Oh, I just assumed, since it isn't physically possible for it to be Roxy's. of course, I suppose you could have gotten a sperm donor."

"Sweetie, Roxy and I broke up just after you left."

"Oh."

"I wanted to tell you, but you didn't tell me where I could reach you and you changed your cell number."

"So, when can I meet the new guy?"

"Bren, there's something you need to know."

"Or woman. I assume you're still bisexual."

"It's a guy, but-"

"What?"

Just then, Dr. Sweets approached them, wearing his signature boyish grin, although he did look older than the last time she had seen him.

"Dr. Brennan! What a nice surprise, I didn't know you were going to be in town. Long time, no see." He turned towards Angela and leaned down to talk to her stomach. "And how's my little girl doing?"

"Oh. Oh! I get it now!"

"No! No, you don't. He's the baby's godfather, not real-father."

"Well I really want to meet the guy, Ange. Maybe tonight, we could go out for dinner. Do either of you know if Booth's around?"

"Yeah, like he'd ever let his pregnant wife out of his sight."

"What?" Brennan paused, processing what Sweets had just said. "Oh. Oh. I get it now."

"Yeah," Angela admitted, making a mental note to hit Sweets for being so stupid, and also thank him for saying what she couldn't.

"Get what? I don't get it," Sweets said, not realizing his error.

"So you and Booth are married." She tried to hide her shock and disappointment, but it was obvious.

"Oh. I get it now."

Angela ignored Sweets and focused on the woman standing in front of her. She had never expected her to come back. Angela looked at Brennan, remembering how close they had been. Best friends. And now, she was standing in the way of the only thing Brennan had come back for.

"Sweetie, you have every right to hate me. "

"I don't hate you Angela. I'm happy for you."

"That is the biggest lie I have ever heard."

"Angela, why would I be angry? _I_ left _Booth_. This is exactly what I wanted."

"Why don't we go in here and talk?" Angela directed Brennan to Sweets' office.

"Okay, yes, I think this is a good idea-"Sweets said, preparing for a therapy session.

"No, Lance, we really need to do this by ourselves."

"But this is my off-" Sweets was cut off by Angela slamming the door in his face.

"Really, Ange, I'm completely fine with this."

"Bren."

Brennan sat on bright red couch, not the same one she had shared with Booth during the countless hours they had spent in this room.

"How did it happen? How did you get together?"

Angela sighed, relieved that Brennan was no longer denying her feelings; worried about how she would react.

"We had both already met the loves of our lives. He was in love with you and I was in love with Hodgins. We were just two lonely people who took each other in. They say love finds you when you're most vulnerable." She paused. "We didn't expect it to happen, Bren."

"Are you still in love with Hodgins?"

"You can't fall out of love, Sweetie."

"So, you're with Booth, but you're in love with Hodgins? I don't understand."

"True love is eternal. Booth and I can't change that, and we can't change who we are. He'll always love you and I'll always love Hodgins. And Booth and I will always love each other. That's just the way it is."

"But how can you possibly know for sure that you're in love with them? How can you be positive? What facts do you have supporting that?"

"There are no facts, Sweetie. You just know."

"Why? What's makes them different from all the other people you've had feelings for?"

"Because when I'm with them, either of them, I'm almost a different person. Except I'm totally and completely myself. I know that doesn't make sense, but it's the only way to describe it."

"I love you not for who you are, but for who I am when I'm with you."

"That's beautiful."

"Some guy said it to me in L.A. He said they were the truest words ever spoken. That's how I figured out I was in love with Booth. That used to be true for us."

"It's still true. And it'll never change. You can't fall out of love."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry for something you have no control over."

"I'm a genius and I find this all very confusing."

Angela smiled and hugged her friend.

"Sweetie, none of your complex anthropology genius stuff is anywhere near as complicated as love."

---------------------------

_You're my first love  
You are my last love  
You are my everlasting love  
You're my first love  
You are my last love  
You're my forever_

* * *

**Next chapter will be up tonight or early tomorrow.**

**Reviews are always appreciated.**


	3. I Assumed That You Loved Me

**A/N: **Here it is, chapter 3. I had a terribly hard time writing this, so I really hope it's okay.

The song is **The Way We Were** by Barbra Streisand.

_

* * *

Memories light the corners of my mind  
Misty water-colored memories of the way we were  
Scattered pictures of the smiles we left behind  
Smiles we gave to one another for the way we were_

----------------------------------------------

She tapped lightly on the door frame. "Booth?"

He looked up from the paperwork on his desk, but was too stunned to speak. She looked just as beautiful as he remembered, maybe even more so . Her hair was longer; it was pulled to the side in a low ponytail, a style he had never seen her wear. She was wearing her mother's earrings, and he recognized the chain around her neck as the necklace he had given her for their anniversary, despite the fact that she refused to celebrate it. He was surprised she still had it.

"Booth?"

"What? Oh, yeah, come in, Bones."

Bones. More than anything, she had missed him calling her that. As she sat down in a chair in front of his desk, she noticed the photos that were proudly displayed before her; one of Angela and Booth, holding each other on a sunny day, laughing like there were no problems in the world; one of Parker (he had gotten so big), holding a baby swaddled in pink, and sitting next to him was a young, blonde girl with Booth's smile; one of Angela alone, sleeping peacefully on the bright green grass; one of Angela, Booth, Hodgins, Zack, Cam, Sweets, Daisy, Clark, and a man she didn't recognize, who she presumed to be the man who had been hired to fill her position, all packed into Sweet's office for a 'group Christmas picture'; and finally, one of herself sitting on Booth's lap, their arms wrapped around each other. It was taken at his birthday party. They were both smiling; Angela had always said that they had the dopey-eyed, in-love look on their faces.

"So… what can I do for you?"

"What?"

"Did you need something?"

"No, I just came to, see how you were, but if you're too busy, I can leave."

"Yeah, actually, I have a lot to do."

"You seem… bitter."

"Nope, just swamped."

"Well, I just assumed, that you would make time for me."

"Well, you shouldn't have assumed that."

"I'm sorry, I guess I should have called you-"

"Yeah, you should've. Why are you here, Temperance?"

"I missed…my job, and they said I could reassume my position here, at the Jeffersonian."

"You should have talked to me about it first, Bones. Did you really think I would want to work with you again after everything that happened?"

"I assumed-"

"You really gotta stop doing that. Didn't you used to yell at me for assuming? A lot of things have changed."

"So I was wrong to assume that you missed me? Because, when I left, I got the impression that-"

"Yes, of course I missed you, Bones! That's kind of the problem. You don't get it," he interrupted, frustrated that she couldn't understand how hard this was for him.

"I talked to Angela. She explained love to me. The logic in it, more or less. Seeing as we're all mature adults, and we all have a mutual understanding of a complicated situation, I don't see any reason why we all can't be civil."

Booth laughed. "Okay, I think L.A. may have changed you and you just made a joke. Because if you really think that then you do not understand _anything_."

"Then, explain it to me."

Booth sighed and rubbed his eyes as he paced the room. "I believe in fate, Bones. I know you don't, but I do. And I believe that fate brought us together twelve years ago. And, more importantly, I believe that you were the love of my life. But you just couldn't accept something that wasn't supported by facts. You couldn't accept that I was in love with you despite our differences. And I think you made a huge mistake by leaving. Now normally, I would think that fate brought us together again. You know, telling us we're destined to be together. But I'm not going to think that. Because I'm with Angela now. I'm in love with Angela. You hurt us both when you left, and we both felt guilty when we got together. But we were able to overcome that, and now you're back, so the guilt is back. So yeah, maybe I am bitter. I'm bitter because fate brought you back to me too late."

"I'm not going to ask you to leave Angela, Booth."

"You didn't come back here for me?" Booth questioned, sounding unconvinced.

"Yes, I did. But now that I see the two of you- You're both really happy."

"Why did you wait so long to come back, Bones?"

"Why did you get together with Angela so soon after I left?"

"It was nearly a year."

"Why did you lie to me?"

"What? When?"

"When I was leaving. You said you would wait for me."

"Did you expect me to wait forever?"

"Honestly, yes."

"I couldn't just stop my life because you walked out the door."

"I expected you to."

"Well, you shouldn't have. And you probably shouldn't admit that."

"Why?"

"Because it makes you sound self-centered."

"It does not. I was simply making a hypothesis supported by facts."

"Maybe to smart people, but to normal people, it's called self-centered."

"Intelligence has nothing to do with. Average people make inferences every day."

Booth chuckled.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just… We kinda sound like the old us."

"Yeah. I miss that."

"Me too."

-----------------------------------

_Can it be that it was all so simple then?  
Or has time rewritten every line?  
If we had the chance to do it all again  
Tell me, would we? Could we?_

------------------------------------

"Angela invited me to dinner."

"Are you coming?"

"Do you want me to come?"

"If you want to come."

"Well then, yes. I'll be there."

"Parker will love to see you. And you can meet the girls."

"What are their names?"

"Sailor and Brielle."

"Sailor? Like, on a boat?"

"Angela chose it. It came to her in a dream. And Madison Hope is due in two months."

"I thought Angela said no one knows the sex?"

"Well, no, not for sure. But I'm, like, 95 percent sure it's a girl. And Sweets is backing me up, so I've got psychology on my side. "

"What if it's a boy?"

"Then we will have Beauregard Hugh."

"That's interesting."

"I picked the girl name, Ange picked the boy name. Apparently it means beautiful spirit or something, I don't know."

"So how do you like your new partner?"

"Well, it's been five years and I still don't take him anywhere with me. The guy doesn't like Foreigner, sports, or kids, I mean, come on. I got nothing to work with. If you can't jam to Hot Blooded with you partner then you know he's no good."

"I could probably talk to someone; convince them to allow us to be partners again."

Booth sighed. She was so sure that everything could go back to the way it used to be. He wanted to believe that too. But it had been so many years. She had missed so much, and he had moved on without her.

But maybe if he believed it for tonight, then it would make it easier. And maybe"Yeah, maybe. Come on, we're gonna be late for dinner."

-----------------------------------

_Memories may be beautiful and yet  
What's too painful to remember  
We simply choose to forget  
So it's the laughter we will remember  
Whenever we remember  
The way we were_

_

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_

**A/N:** Only one chapter left, and it should be up anytime.

Opinions? Tips? Complaints? Compliments?

I'd love to hear them.


	4. What hurts more: Loving or Leaving?

_We're a picture in my mind  
__And when I want to find you  
__I just close my eyes  
__You'll never be that far from me  
__So don't say goodbye_

----------------------------

"Bones? Do you ever think about what it could have been like if you hadn't left? Do you ever regret it?"

"I think those are two highly inappropriate questions to ask me considering the fact that you and Angela are together now."

"I have to know, Bones."

"I don't want to complicate things."

"Whatever you say, it won't change the way I feel about Angela. So you won't be complicating anything."

"What if it changes the way you feel about me?"

"I gotta know, Bones."

She sighed. "Yes, Booth. As pointless as it is, I often think of what it would have been like had I stayed with you. And as much as I believe that regret is a trivial emotion that shows nothing but weakness, I can't help it. I do regret it. I admit that I made an error. I don't know how. I had all the facts right in front of me, telling me that I was making the right decision. But somehow, it was incorrect."

"I told ya, Bones. You gotta let your heart do the thinking sometimes."

"I'm sorry, Booth."

"I think about it, too. All the time."

"Booth-"

"Angela knows. She knows that I could never stop loving you, Bones. Everyone knows."

"I know-"

"And I will always want to be with you.."

"Booth-"

"...which is why I can't just be your friend. I wanted to try, and pretend I could, but I can't."

He walked towards her, and put his rough hand on her soft cheek. He kissed her, and a small smile tugged at her lips.

"I talked to the director of the FBI. He said they could use me in Chicago."

"I don't want to move to Chicago, Booth. I'm resuming my position at the Jeffersonian, we can both stay here."

"I found Angela a job there, too."

"I don't-"

"Bones, Angela and I are moving to Chicago."

"I thought you just said-"

"I'm sorry, Bones."

He looked into the eyes of the woman he loved one last time.

And he walked away.

Because he, unlike her so many years ago, didn't have a choice.

And he realized he was wrong:

Love wasn't always enough.

---------------------------

_Got my memories  
And they will last  
I try to keep it simple  
Cause I hate goodbyes  
I try to keep it simple  
By telling myself that  
I will remember you  
And all of the things  
That we've gone through  
There is so much I could say  
But words get in the way  
So if we're not together  
__I will remember you_

* * *

**A/N:**I'm so sorry! Gah, you have no idea how hard that was to do. But I had to do it. So, there it is. What'd you think? Even if you hated it (which I expect) I'd still like to know!

The song is _**I Will Remember You**_ by Ryan Cabrera.

Thanks for taking the time to read **Hard to Say Goodbye.**

_Fin._


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